today you’ve been a part of my life for a whole year.
it’s been a year since Life and Light returned…
i love you SO much, little girl…
you’re my EVERYTHING, and i’d be completely lost without you…
SO many memories are fighting to be the *first* memory to be acknowledged and shared now that it’s time to summarize our first year together – where to start?
at the beginning.
i’m still totally convinced that it was totte who lead me to you, sienna, and i *know* he was the one who told me your name.
the day i got to bring you home was a WONDERFUL day!
and after that came a few hectic weeks when you and i went with lotta and her beardie girls EVERYWHERE, and in between the field trips you and i struggled to find our routine when it comes to everything: visits to the little girls’ room, food, playtime and cuddling.
and at the same time i was busy mourning totte – the grief after losing him was like an open wound, and it HURT.
i mopped after your (fairly few) “accidents” and struggled to get you to eat, and all the while my heart was aching and my tears were flowing…
the day i scattered totte’s ashes out in the sea near lotta’s parents’ summer house (where he LOVED to play) was incredibly hard, but you were with me, little girl, and we were surrounded by people who knew and know how much i LOVED and LOVE totte, and what he meant to me.
i put my hand in the water and touched his fur one last time, and then we went into shore again, where you were waiting for me – you couldn’t wait to share the next part of my life with me!
for a long time you were “instead of totte”, but some time in november (about six months after i brought you home) i woke from my “grief sleep”, and you were SIENNA, MY FOURLEGGER, and no longer “instead of totte”…
you’re a WONDERFUL fourlegger, sienna!
“if it’s not a toller, then it’s just a dog” – and they are SO right about that, sweetie!
your personality is so big that it would be enough for four or five “ordinary” dogs…
with your help i’ve become a VERY much more active person – who would have even DREAMED of guessing i (the world’s biggest couch / computer potato) would VOLONTARILY go for hour-long walks, and prepare half-mile long scent trails for you to find and follow???
scent tracking – your FAVO(U)RITE thing in the whole world, sienna!
you’re SO good at that, little girl, and it’s VERY fascinating to see the change in you when we put the tracking harness and tracking line on you – the sienna who normally is so all-over-the-place and, well, HYPER, turns into this überfocused, thorough tracking virtuoso!
soon you will make your debut in the show ring, and i’m starting to get nervous!
*i* am not going to be your handler – we’re lucky enough to have “pro handler” lotta to help us with that – but STILL!
you ARE the most beautiful toller girl in the whole world, and i’m HOPING the judge isn’t BLIND to your beauty!
to get to share your days is a GIFT, little girl, and i look forward to every day we have together!
i’ve learned SO much from you, and each new day with you is making me a better person.
there’s so much i could write about our first year together, but when it comes down to it, there’s really no need to write anything else but this:
i LOVE you, little girl, and every day i thank The Good for you.
ALL MY LOVE, ALWAYS,